Critical Steps for Surviving Divorce – Part 3

Step Five: Celebrate the days you didn’t cry; give yourself grace for the days you did.

I cried every single day for months. Some days it was misting around the corners of my eyes, some days a silent waterfall. I confess that the weekends were more of the guttural sob, but I really did try to reign those episodes in as much as possible! A name, a smell, a memory (and there were loads of memories!), a building, a song, a movie – anything could bring a stab of pain and a sob in the back of my throat. Truthfully, it made me so angry at myself! Why couldn’t I control my reactions and why did this whole thing cause me such emotional and physical pain? Then one day I read something that changed my anger into understanding.

“It hurts because it mattered.”

That was a turning point for me. Knowing that even though I would need to heal and even though I would need to move on, it hurt because it mattered. Sometimes it’s the simple things that the Holy Spirit uses to break through. Our El Roi sees us and meets us at the exact right time with the most perfect word. Praise Him!

Step Six: Let go of things that bring you pain.

Do you still have that necklace? How about that dress? Maybe those birthday/anniversary cards? Give them away, my friend. Dispose of those cards! If it has value, resell it – but you must release the things that bring you pain. Intentionally I kept a few things for my son, but I have those things packed away, out of sight.  The pictures are packed away also so that future generations will be able to have them.  I plan to create an online photo book so that I can store the book away and get rid of the photos. I am a genealogist so this is very important! 😊

Next, replace those things so that you aren’t left with a gaping hole. Take new photos, replace that dress, find a different necklace, and begin to build new memories that bring you grins – that leads to smiles – that lead to laughs – that leads to joy.

Psalm 28:7 says, “The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust in Him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.” 

Four years later I am standing in the Worship Center of my church bursting with songs of thanksgiving for the healing He provided to me and the hope He restored.

I pray earnestly that if you are amid loss and debilitating pain that you will lift your eyes to the hills, seek the Abba Father, and find true Joy in Him.

Tammy A


If you do not have a church home or are not connected to the one you attend currently. I invite you to visit mine! Follow this link where you can watch live each Sunday or catch up with previous weeks!

Intended for His Glory

Bible Study

Have you ever been inspired to do something that was scary and outside your box of comfort? Perhaps you’ve said yes to that inspiration and then as the days went along, in the nitty gritty of finding your footing, a slight shift in the original idea took place?

This happened to me recently. I was inspired to start a blog that would be a place of encouragement and community. A place where others could visit to find a helpful tip, discover a place to travel, or put a smile on their face. Then I got into the weeds of the thing! The details of the how and the what, the figuring out of the technicalities, and then rubbing my temples at the mistakes and redo’s that inevitably happen the first month or so of a new venture.

The drive of my heart has always been to create and restore peace. Totally tall order for this big ole world, but one that is knit into the very fabric of my being. (I’m an Enneagram 9 if you are into that stuff!) So, quickly, I found myself stressed and over my head with the minutia. Has this happened to you?


https://www.instagram.com/p/BsdlPo-nq11/
Here is a really cool graphic from “madewholecollective” about the “9”, and if you are interested, we can do some blog posts about the Enneagram numbers in the future!

But then, this morning I was reading Romans 11 and Paul’s words jumped out at me as if they had become 3-D! “For everything comes from Him and exists by His power and is intended for His glory. All glory to Him forever! Amen.” I felt a strong nudge in my heart that I had derailed a bit from the original inspiration. At first, I tried to counter with “but….” however, I shut that down quick and agreed that I had become more consumed with getting content on the site that readers would like than getting content that would be impactful.

All day I pondered on this revelation and asked what would be HIS best for this blog going forward. Consequently, once a week – Lord willing and the creek don’t rise – we will share practical application devotions that come out of the scripture. We will be able to share what God is doing to use it in our lives and for His intended glory. I am confident that His Word will go out to you and it will not return to Him void.  He promised it would be so! 😊

With all my heart I encourage you to seek God and ask Him what areas of your life were meant to give Him glory. The areas you have been tempted to make about anything except Him. Is it your career, your family, your education, your friends? All these areas are meant to provide an avenue to share Christ and bring your own special kind of life.

Maybe you’re asking what’s wrong with fun/simple blog posts about everyday things? Not one thing! My gentle nudge was about the lack of a spot for Him. Much like setting a place at the table for a loved one that you are expecting to show up! My desire is that there is a place set each week for Him to show up and speak to us – you and me!


Please leave a comment in the section below sharing ways that you have been encouraged to modify something in your life that He intended for His glory. Until next time….